After an unplanned break from email newsletters, I’m back:) It feels great to sit and connect with you again. I’m going to attempt in one run-on sentence to catch up on the goings-on in my life since our last email in January – found out I was pregnant, it was a BIG and wonderful surprise and a very different journey than getting pregnant with my daughter Logan, working with therapy clients, training and speaking to companies about burnout, self-care, and the Overachiever Spiral, had some incredible interviews on the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast, traveled to the desert 2x to soak up sun and get all the #desertvibes, and have been enjoying watching my daughter transform from a baby into this incredible little kid.
So, what now? For now, you can expect emails to include:
- A Podcast Feature – the latest episodes and listener’s favorites
- Lessons from Sessions – what came out of the previous week’s therapy sessions because we’re more alike than different and the best things in life are shared (with all identifying information being omitted)
- What I’m loving – week to week I’ll be sharing what I’m learning, loving, enjoying, reading, etc.
- Looking forward to next week – giving you a preview of what’s coming up
This week on Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs we’re exploring the change process – When do we know it’s time? How can we trust ourselves? How do we know what to do? This week features Part 3 of a 4 part series.
Lessons from Sessions
We can’t rush being ready. Even if our head has all the information. Even if we know what’s right or what needs to be done. We can’t rush being ready in our hearts. Our hearts operate at their own time, at their own speed. Rushing often leads to chaos, making bigger messes, or missing the desired outcome all together.
Knowing what you want is half the battle. More than half, really. And, sitting in your knowing can be incredibly brave.
No one can know for you what is procrastinating, laziness, or taking the easy way out. In my experience that is never the case. There’s a reason why it’s hard. Whatever IT is. Criticism and judgement are bottomless pits that only lead to more of them same and end in shame.
If you know what you want to do, but you’re not ready to do it yet. That’s okay. You’re getting ready to be ready.
What I’m loving
I’m currently halfway through Dr. Gabor Mate’s book, The Myth of Normal, and man oh man is it good. It is A LOT though. It’s content rich and is highlighted all over. I’m not tearing through it like I want to because I’m trying to digest it. I’m a fast reader, but if I really want to know what I’m reading I sit with it a while.
Here’s a quote (of about 100) that’s blowing my mind, and a reinterpretation of the work that I’m currently processing:
“A wiser view requires a wider lens.”Gabor Mate’, MD
When it comes to attachment, (think Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems/a child’s secure or insecure bond with their primary caregivers) what matters is the child’s sense of security, safety, approval and love. NOT the parents’ experience of raising, loving or feeling connected with their child. Thinking about all relationships this way adds a new meaning to intention and perception. What you intend when you’re engaging with others vs what others experience when they’re with you. Intention vs impact. It also acknowledges something vital when thinking about enmeshed or co-dependent relationships – that someone else’s needs are distinct from your own.
Looking forward to next week
For the upcoming week I’m exploring what happens when we’re feeling blocked. What confusion often represents, and what it means if we aren’t ready to know the truth.
If you’d like a journal entry to prepare for this topic consider – What if I did know?
Even if emails are delayed, you can expect new and original content from me every week in the following places:
- Instagram (100% my comfort zone)
- Facebook (Post about 3x a week)
- TikTok (little by little/getting there/learning)
Need some more support?
- A 7 part guided journal to help you deepen your relationship with the most important relationship in your life – the one between you and you.
If you have any thoughts, Q’s or topics that you want me to cover send your thoughts to firstname.lastname@example.org and use the subject line Topic Idea.