Trying to think my way through a feeling problem
Full discloser, I didn’t start my own therapy until I was working my first year as a therapist. I couldn’t see it then, but there was a part of me that thought that I could “out smart” my uncomfortable emotions. If I learned the tools, taught them to others, and became an expert (whatever that means) then I would feel better as a result.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
Even reflecting on this makes me start to sweat. Not with shame, but with a deep deep understanding of how backwards my thinking was and how it kept me stuck in a loop of anxiety, business, and pretend.
It was sitting in sessions with clients, “in the expert’s chair” that I heard clients echo feelings that felt familiar to me. Day after day, my body would feel this jolt of recognition, “Oh my God I’ve thought that too.” “Oh my God it’s not just me.” Then, “I need to talk to someone.”
As much as I tried (and BELIEVE ME I tried), I couldn’t think my way out of a feeling problem. Our emotional health is sacred and deserves dedicated space to be held and nurtured.
If you’re thinking about talking to someone, do it.
If you’ve been thinking about getting sober, try it.
If you’ve ever thought about hurting yourself, tell someone.
If you need support, let me know.
It’s basically Halloween, which means it’s basically the holidays, and almost New Years. Give yourself a gift – The gift of giving your emotions the time and space they deserve.
How to we do that?
Outside of therapy, one of the most best ways I know to process my feelings is to journal. When I’m writing, I’m not performing, trying to be perfect, or afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. In other words, I’m free.
Here’s a couple journal prompts you could try to find some relief:
- Where do my thoughts go when I’m alone?
- What have I spent a lot of time thinking about?
- What am I avoiding looking at?
There’s no right or wrong, here. Give it a try, and see what it unlocks in you.
New on the podcast
If you’re wearing a lot of different hats, feel bogged down by responsibility, and need a reminder you’re not alone?…This is the podcast for you.
This was my first recording coming back from maternity leave, and after being back to work with my clients for a couple weeks I was starting to recognize some patterns:
- The days were moving faster
- The to-do lists were getting longer
- I was feeling overwhelmed
- Annnnd, almost everyone I was talking to was feeling the same way
In this episode I explore, what happens when we put too much pressure on ourselves, why we do it, and how to pump the brakes.