I’ve been working as a therapist since 2015, and one of the most unexpected and wonderful gifts is that I get to listen to people’s most intimate, personal, shameful moments. After thousands of practice hours I started to hear a rhythm in people’s personal stories that felt so familiar. Like being able to hum a melody from a nursery rhyme but not name the tune. Our experiences are uniquely personal, but not our fear.
Our fear sounds exactly the same.
Joking with a client, I shared, “It all comes down to falling, farting and misspelled words.” She laughed while replying, “Oh my GOD. Those are my top three fears in public!”
Yep! Me too. And, probably – you too.
Our fear loves to offer up its specialness. The phrase terminal uniqueness comes to mind. The more special, complicated and misunderstood our pain is, the harder it is to be expressed, or understood, or embraced. Therefore, it should be kept deep inside. A secret.
Friends, if you could be a fly on the wall in a session with me. You’d hear a version of your truth come out of someone else’s mouth. That doesn’t mean YOU are not special. Because you ARE. But your f e a r, the lies it tells you, that is what’s common. So common, it could be called boring.
If you feel an uncomfortable emotion and don’t add thoughts – evidence, examples, past wounds, proof of being unworthy, wronged, undeserving or unloveable – your feeling will pass by.
Feelings have a shelf-life of about 90 seconds, like a toot, a tumble or realizing that important email you sent started with “Hi htere…”
It’ll be okay. Shift happpens. It might even make you laugh.
Therapy clients
If you haven’t already and would like to resume sessions, I am back and excited to see you. Text or email works great. I’m excited to see you again:)
Podcast news
Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs was listed in Indianapolis Monthly’s Best of 2023, for top podcast. It was unexpected and such a great way to end my maternity leave.
Thank you for listening! If you haven’t already, subscribe to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast on iTunes or Spotify. More episodes are coming soon.
Support for you
Grab a pen and put your thoughts on paper. If you’re thinking “I’ve tried journaling before but didn’t know if I was doing it right,”—consider getting a copy of the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and exercises that help you make sense of messy feelings and feel safer with yourself. You can grab a copy and the companion meditation guide HERE.
Stay connected
Even if emails are delayed, you can expect new and original content from me every week in the following places:
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