Title: Professional Development Coach
Brief Bio: In the personal development world, coaches often are asked, “How did you do it?” The long answer is, “Everyone’s path is different and there’s no one way to the top,” but if Lindsay’s checklist could be broken down into ‘7 Simple Steps Success’ – this is what it would look like:
- Graduate from college (She graduated from Syracuse University).
- Raise money to support yourself as a young adult ($$$).
- Tour the world in a Christian rock band (She really did this).
- Experience heart ache, pain, and loneliness (Breakdown).
- Rise up from the ashes, and commit to helping people see the best in themselves (Breakthrough).
- Work really, really, really hard for 10 years to build quality professional and personal relationships (Truth).
- Buy a yacht and drink champagne (Kidding).
Interview: In the face of fear and self-doubt, what pushed you through?
So the scariest thing I’ve been through is my divorce. I’ve had heartache, I’ve had near-death experiences, and I wish I could sit here and say that those were the worst, but that just wasn’t the case for me.
Divorce is the worst version of rejection.
I had so many moments where I thought, “THIS IS THE END.” All of the ways I wanted to see myself, everything that I respected about myself, they were all crumbling around me. I felt that the people in my life were never going to see me the same way again.
I thought I’m going to blow up my business, f*ck-up my life, AND I’m going to look bad. I’m going to look like I’m out of control, and now people will be judging me or passing judgement on my life.
It took me a long time to realize that on the other side of that situation, on the other side of pain, people loved me more. They were able to see the soft side of me, this vulnerable-underbelly that makes us real.
When you see someone move through trauma, you actually appreciate them more on the other side.
At the time, I was trying to figure out who I was based on how people treated me. I remember thinking, “Oh, this person was nice to me today. I must be ok.” When you’re that raw, when you’re that vulnerable, sometimes it’s just that simple.
Here are the two things I repeated to get through the worst of it:
- “No one has ACTUALLY said anything mean to me.” Even if they’re thinking it, NO ONE is persecuting me AT ALL.
- I would actually do the thing I was doing and I would speak it out loud. For example, “I am just driving my car. Now, I’m just getting groceries. Now, I am walking my dogs,” etc.
My life as I knew it had ended. This experience brought me to the edge of my life. I feel so much stronger and bigger, but not before I survived being cut down to f*cking a stump.
I’m much more humbled now, because before I used to see myself in a certain way, and then I didn’t fit into my own story anymore.
Coaching is what kept my head above water. I remember people on my team telling me, “Lindsay, you don’t need to be perfect. Just go do what you were built to do. You still have the skills.” I have enough emotional integrity to know that when I feel a new wave of grief and I need to lay down, I DO IT! But there are also days where I can feel bad and still show up and get my work done; both truths can exist.
Pearl of wisdom: “Pain and suffering are designed to bring us together.”
Winning Fact: People loving me through my pain and reflecting back my greatness is a big part of my healing. It’s why I’m so incredibly passionate to do the same for others.
Golden Rules: You are going to be ok, really.
They say: “Lindsay was very engaging, very informative and a pure delight to see in action. I have already referenced Lindsay, her material, shared the qualities of her speaking engagement and website to several colleagues and friends. Simply outstanding. Would love to see her in a TED talk! Locally, regionally, and nationally!”
*Want to see Lindsay in action, click HERE.
Interview conducted in person, 2017.