What’s your relationship with your phone?


I heard this question at a conference recently,

What’s you relationship with your phone?

I remember thinking,

My. Relationship. With. My. Phone…? Do I have a relationship with my phone? Can we have a relationship with technology?

This was such a thought provoking question and was so powerful that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered it before…

Some days, my phone is the first thing I touch in the morning, and because it’s my alarm it’s the last thing I touch when I go to sleep. If I don’t wear a watch or have a day planner on me (which I almost never do), it’s my clock and my calendar.

If I’m not paying attention, and if I’m particularly anxious or stressed, I’ll use my phone as a distraction; social media, Youtube, Google, etc. I’m also really good at “tweaking” my calendar to fulfill that need to “be busy” when in truth – I’m accomplishing nothing.   

Imagine losing or breaking your phone. How much would your life shut down? I would likely go into a full-scale, code red, systems down – PANIC.

It’s a little unnerving to think about how much of my power and ability to function is dependent on a mini-supercomputer that fits into my pocket.  

Before I start tumbling too far down the “technology is bad for you and we should all go back to pencil and paper” rabbit hole, there are also some undeniable benefits to this technology (too many to list here).

What could be worth examining, without criticism or judgement, is our relationship with our phones.  In therapeutic terms, what we’re talking about is awareness.

Awareness or consciousness, offers you a different point of view, a new road to travel, or a valuable way to discover something new about yourself. 

Awareness is empowering.

For five minutes, consider the following questions:

  1. What do I use my phone for?
  2. How often do I touch my phone?
  3. How would I feel if I didn’t have access to my phone for a day?

Remember, awareness is a judgement free zone. Self-criticism, or perceived judgement is generally the barrier to self-reflection.  Take your internal temperature with how ready or willing you are to make a change. 

Oftentimes people underestimate what they can accomplish in a year, and overestimate what they can do in a week. ~ Tony Robbins

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